Let me describe how my Meige's/Cervical Dystonia feels.
- You feel like you may have been poisoned and then you feel nauseous and sometimes dizzy.
- Then you start to feel panicky because you do not know why this is happening. (Before my Diagnosis)
- Your mind is sharp yet you try to control your body movements and it does not work.
- The pain is excruciating.
- It feels like someone is pulling the back of your head by the hair and your muscles have turned into coiling serpents under your skin.
- You feel possessed.
- You have anxiety and panic attacks.
- For any woman who has given birth and experienced labor... I can equate the feeling of contractions to the dystonic movements as far as having no control over what your body is doing.
- You scream in your car. You scream at home.
- You curse God and you pray to God.
- You cry A LOT. Anywhere, anytime...
- You feel like you had 20 margaritas and none of the fun.
I'm not telling you this because I want your pity. I'm telling you this because these are the facts. Take a step back and be thankful and grateful for everyday that you have good health on this earth.
I am grateful for every day that I make progress and terrified on days that I feel like I'm not. I am thankful for my husband for sticking with me and telling me I'm beautiful at my worst...and my children who keep me going every day. I am thankful to have such an amazing team of doctors helping me.
One step forward, three steps back...I am walking when others cannot and I am thankful.