Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Finding a sense of purpose when nothing makes sense.

I had therapy today and discussed my inability to accept that I have put my life on hold waiting to feel better. I need to find a way to get out more often but some days the pain is too overwhelming and holds me back. I refuse to accept that this is how my life is going to be. I spend every day so focused on my therapy and exercises trying to get better that I have no other sense of purpose.

 I've been trying to get together with a friend for lunch or go out shopping or to a local event with my family at least once a week. Even if I feel miserable I push myself to go. Usually I end up feeling exhausted and in pain by the by the end of the day but mentally it feels good to get out of the house. My goal is that by the end of January I want to try and go out alone. Take an Uber and do something just for me. I always push myself to go out if it is something for my son. Seeing Santa, his hockey games or school events.

 My therapist, my husband and I discussed how important it is to do this for myself. My new year's resolution is to break out of this prison that dystonia and I have created and get a taste of freedom and independence back. My next round of botox injections are on January 9th and I am hoping that I can get some more pain relief and going out will be something I enjoy rather than something I endure. Here's to a new year of hope and promise. 

Cheers and welcome 2017!